


Skin & Bones

by limeybabyyy



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Other, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21985318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limeybabyyy/pseuds/limeybabyyy
Summary: I can't do this anymore. The past few weeks have been a living hell for me. Why did I deserve to live? God, I'm so useless. COMPLETE!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Skin & Bones

**Author's Note:**

> So, just an fyi, I wrote this one shot, back in September this year, while I was still in Season 1. I apologize if it's not good the slightest bit. This was also my first Queer as Folk fanfic too lol. Thank you. 
> 
> Also, warning: mentions eating disorders and deals with them. Do not read if you're sensitive towards them or have one yourself.

A/N: Hi all! I decided to do a song fanfic of Skin & Bones by Marianas Trench, which is my favorite band fyi. I also decided to do a Queer as Folk one shot. Enjoy reading! Don't forget to review and follow me, while you're at it. :D

I lock the door  
Turn all the water on  
And bury that sound

I locked the bathroom door, turning the light on and opening the toilet seat, wretching my guts out. The past few weeks have been very depressing for me as I couldn't do anything in life, rather than taking control of what I'm good at. Purging. 

Once that was done, I had tears in my eyes, sobbing so much. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. All I feel is numbness and sorrow. I stared at my entire body, noticing how thin I look. You disgust me. I said to myself as I resumed vomiting. I don't care if I die. Nobody will miss me. It's my body and I can do whatever I want. 

So no one hears anything anymore  
Mirror lie to me, tell me you can see  
Maybe you won't be able to recognize me now

So you're probably wondering to yourself, Brian, if you're vomiting a lot, does that mean you have an illness that we don't know about? Why yes, yes I do. I don't want admit it, but I do have an illness that nobody knows about. In fact, I'd like to keep it that way. I don't care what anyone will say. It's really none of your concern and I don't care. 

I know you can feel all the things you steal  
And you're taking, you're taking it  
Feeling so easy  
Make me skin and bones  
I'm always on my knees for you  
You break like it's even  
When you're leaving it thin,  
Where the hell have you been?

I was vomiting more and more, knowing this is the only pain I can control and nothing else. I don't want to be eating anymore. I just want to vomit and that's it. If anyone sees me doing this, they'll send me to rehab or take me to counseling. And I sure as hell don't want that. 

Well, sometimes it burns  
Maybe I'll wash it out  
It all looks so big  
Never mind, I don't feel anything

"Brian? Is that you?" Justin knocked the door. Shit. I said to myself, flushing the toilet. I brushed my teeth and wiped my mouth, removing that bile taste from my mouth. 

It only hurt a bit  
I still feel like shit  
And I think you won't be able to recognize me now  
It's easier to quit  
It's harder to admit  
And you're pushing me, you're fucking pushing me!

"Heyyyy, Justin. How's my sweetest boyfriend in the world doing?" I said with a fake smile, kissing his lips. 

"Brian, were you throwing up?" He asked. 

"No! I would never do that. That's for girls." I lied, laughing at my joke. Justin laughed a little bit, unsure how to respond. 

Feeling so easy  
Make me skin and bones  
I'm always on my knees for you  
Break me like it's even  
When you're leaving it thin,  
Where the hell have you been?

We went to Babylon, meeting up with our friends, Michael, Ted and Emmett. As we were dancing, I felt dizzy and my vision was blurring. 

"Brian, are you okay?" Michael asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. 

"Yeah. It's just the flu." I told him, which wasn't true. I ran to the bathroom, went straight to the stalls and vomited again. Once that was finished, I stared at myself. You're a gross piece of shit. I said to myself, placing a mint candy onto my mouth. 

Cause you always win  
And you... yeah!  
Laughin' like it works  
Bleeding like it don't hurt  
Knock you off your feet  
Even if you need me  
Tear you apart and I hate how I need you

As I was walking back, I collapsed onto the floor, shutting my eyes. They say people go to heaven and I always thought they were kidding. But I guess I do deserve to die. 

"Guys, Brian isn't responding!" Emmett shouted, tears on his eyes. Michael called 911 and Justin was holding my hand, stroking my hair. Ted was waiting for the ambulance to get here. 

Feeling so easy, make me skin and bones  
I'm always on my knees for you  
Break me like it's even  
When you're leaving it

"Come on, Brian. Stay with us." Justin said, holding my hand tighter. The ambulance got here and Ted explained to the paramedics what happened.  
When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed. 

"Wh-what happened?" I said, everything still fuzzy but not like before. 

Too fucking easy, make me skin and bones  
I'm always on my knees for you  
Break me like it's even  
When you're leaving it thin,  
Where the hell have you been?

"Brian, what were you thinking?" Michael exclaimed, wiping his eyes. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." I asked, confused. 

"You were starving yourself for 5 weeks and almost died." He sobbed. Emmett was crying as well while Ted and Justin confronted them. 

"No, I wasn't. It's the flu. Honestly." I denied the truth. 

"Brian, you do realize you are bulimic? In other words, you have an eating disorder." A doctor told me.

"I thought women have them?" I didn't quite get what she meant. 

"All genders can have an eating disorder. You were lucky that you didn't cause any more serious damage than you have." She told me.

"No. This cannot be happening. Justin, tell the doctor that it's not true." I held his hand. Justin nodded, believing that I do have an eating disorder and I began to cry. 

As I started going to counseling for my eating disorder, each day I would get more and more better. Justin made sure to get me eating and not relapse. I was trying to eat again and every day, it felt good. I wasn't as depressed anymore and I was taking anti depressants to cure my depression. One day, I decided to propose to Brian and he said yes to marrying me. We got married about a year later, feeling so much happier than before. Even I was feeling happy and nothing will change that. 

You always win,  
And you always  
And you always  
I will burn all this [9x]


End file.
